We Have A Bartering System
by Cmdr's Monkey
Summary: Doctor Watson discovers a thief in his closet.


_This was inspired by AshinGale-Effect's comic strip "AYHW Chapter 1 strip 4" on deviantart in which she challenged her reviewers to come up with a funny closet joke to her comic. Well I came up with one (which you'll find as a skit there) and here it is in fic form. Only difference is, they are adults in this which should make it even funnier. I hope._

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**We Have A Bartering System**

I did not know what encouraged Holmes in starting to pilfer my clothing for the next ten years of our friendship. All I do remember is that it had started around one little innocent article of clothing one September morning in the year of 1881. I had been asleep, comfortable and warm in my bed in the upstairs bedroom when I slowly began to register that someone was in my room with me. Quietly I held my breath as I opened my eyes to look around in front of me without moving a muscle in the hopes that I could catch sight of the intruder.

When I realized that the noise I had heard that had awoken me from my peaceful slumber was coming from behind me near my large armoire, I quickly sat up in bed and shouted at the pilferer without thinking that the man could be dangerous. My sudden shout had so startled the thief, that his greater height proved to be disadvantageous and caused him to hit his head against the ceiling of the furniture.

An expletive of the likes that burned my ears emerged from the armoire as I climbed out of my bed with the intention of apprehending the thief only to stop short when I saw that it was my flat mate. "Holmes! What on Earth do you think you are doing in my closet?"

"Um...," he looked like a child who had been caught red handed in doing something he shouldn't have been. "Nothing too terribly important to be concerned about, old chap. My apologies for disturbing your sleep. Go on back to bed, I promise to be quieter."

So tired was I at having my morning slumber interrupted that I almost waved off his apology and went back to bed, but somewhere in the back of my mind I had registered what he had been wearing in my armoire and stopped myself from completing my turn about and looked back at him incredulously.

"Holmes... is that my hat you are wearing?" asked I in disbelief.

His eyes looked upward into his dark brows at the object in question on his head. It had been knocked slightly askew on his head when he had hit it earlier on the ceiling of the furniture. "No. Yes... Maybe." He gave me his best charming grin as if that would have me forget everything and the dark navy cap he was wearing.

"_Why_ are you wearing my hat, Holmes?"

"I like it," he simply said and took it off to admire it for a moment.

"That is _my_ hat. So give it back," I demanded.

"But it's too small for your head!" he argued as he tried to hide it in his dressing gown in an attempt to keep it. Despite the lethargy I felt from having my sleep interrupted, I quickly stopped him before the article could disappear behind the mouse gray fabric.

"It is still_ my_ hat, Holmes!" said I and I felt him tug back on the hat which soon boiled down into a tug-o-war over the article of clothing. I scowled at him and he scowled back at me as we pulled back and forth and argued over it.

"We're agreed then that it is too small for you!" Holmes said and I wondered how he thought I had agreed with him.

"No I did not!"

"Did too!" he exclaimed.

"Did not!" shouted I

"Did!" he shouted louder and tugged harder on the hat childishly. I was too irritated at him for arguing with me over the hat, stealing my clothing and waking me up too early in the morning that I, without a care, let go of the hat when he pulled back on it again much harder than before. He immediately fell back into the armoire with a loud thud and smiled triumphantly up at me with a smug look as he replaced the cap back on his head.

I slammed the doors of my armoire in his face and locked them with a shout, "Fine then, you can keep the bloody thing!" before grabbing my own dressing gown and vacating my bedroom in search of a hot cup of coffee and a warm breakfast from Missus Hudson. As I started down the stairs toward the sitting room, I could hear Holmes banging on the armoire doors loudly and shouting for me to open them.

"Watson?"

I ignored him as I greeted our insufferable landlady who gave me a questioning look for the noise occurring up in my bedroom.

"Watson!" Holmes shouted louder and banged harder. "It is dark in here, Watson!"

"How is your morning so far, Missus Hudson," I said to her cheerfully and took the morning paper she had brought in for us.

"It was fine until all that ruckus started, Doctor," she said but there was no bitterness in her voice. She seemed amused and I figured she had overheard us fighting upstairs and deduced what I had done to Holmes on her own.

"WATSON!"

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_Well I hope you all found this as amusing as I did :D_


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